Matthew 6:25-34

do not worry.

i used to be so good at not worrying. before anything actually bad happened in my life, when life was simple, it seemed so much easier not to worry. i was full of faith in the goodness of God, and how much he wanted good for my life.

i'm so great at that anymore. i know around the time it went array, and i want to change. i want to be full of faith once again, and trust your goodness Lord!

i knew bad things happened in life before, but it wasn't "real" to me. it's more real now. but i have to realize that it doesn't change the goodness of God, it doesn't change his provision and love for me, as his child.

it doesn't change his good plan for me life. it doesn't change his plan to give me hope and a future. it doesn't change his plan to bless me, indeed. it doesn't change the fact that by his stripes, i was healed. 

i tend to assume the worst, i imagine the worst instead of the best. fear and faith are the same thing, but on different spectrums. why should i go with fear and doubt instead of faith and hope?

Lord, right now as best as i know how, as honest as i can manage, i chose faith. i chose to live my life in faith. no matter the circumstance, i chose faith, i chose hope. help me. i chose to believe you, your goodness, your love. 

faith, and not fear.

Holy Spirit, help my unbelief.

Matthew 11:28-30

this is a verse that i used to so passionately attribute to others. it was something i so much wanted others around me who were hurting in life to experience. i believed with my very being that he could be their hope.

i wholeheartedly felt that those words were so very real and so very true.

because my burden was already light. i didn't realize just how much, but i grew up so blessed. my parents were together and always loved me. i had a sister who was a best friend. a best friend who was just like a sister. a group of friends that were a really good influence.

but life has a way. 

weariness will show its face. burdens will hard weigh down. and then it's not as easy to so clearly and wholeheartedly believe it's true.

but i come.